People-Pleasing and Mental Health: The Hidden Emotional Cost

As the bell rang, a young girl with cascading curly hair came downstairs to the university cafeteria to grab her lunch before searching for a bus to go home. Today, her schedule ended early, so she was finally able to breathe after putting on the lantern last night to finish preparing for her essays and slides for a case competition. 

While she was grabbing her meatbox, something pushed her back. It was her friend Monica. 

‘Hello girl! What’s up!’

Juliana turned around and gave her a tight hug. They hadn’t seen each other for about two hours, and still, it felt like ages. The duo walked on the way to the ground floor, chatting and catching up about what had happened during those gap hours they had missed. And, after some minutes of their long conversation, before bidding each other their farewell for the day, Monica asked her: ‘Bro, I have to go to my uncle’s house tomorrow, I gotta sleep early since the flight is at 5 am. So, Julie, could you finish the last fifteen slides for me? I’ll finish the rest when I get back.’

Juliana’s smile faded. Her brain felt foggy from the lack of sleep, and the idea of working again made her shoulders ache. 

Should I say no? 

What if Monica gets mad? 

What if she thinks I’m being selfish?

What if this ruins our bonding? 

She hesitated, forcing a small smile while her mind argued with itself. 

‘Yes….sure. I can do it. Don’t worry.’

Throughout the whole bus ride, Juliana kept sighing. Her plan to sleep for the day was already ruined. 

As she reached her home, instead of going inside, she walked towards the beach to get some fresh air. The cool breeze brushed against her face, but the heaviness in her chest remained. She felt suffocated 

Why couldn’t I just say no? 

This thing has been going on for a while. Last time I did Neil’s homework. Before that, I had taken Xavier’s shift at work. And now this.

Okay, once or twice is fine, but how long will this continue?

Every time someone asked for help, I agreed without thinking. It’s not because I wanted to, but I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I don’t want to be seen as rude or uncaring. 

But now I’m exhausted. 

She sat on the sand, watching the waves crashing against the shore again and again. The sound was calming, yet her mind wasn’t at ease. 

Just then, her phone suddenly buzzed.

‘Thanks Julie! You are my lifesaver!’ 

It was from Monica. Juliana stared at the message for a long moment. She should have felt happy. Instead, she could feel the emptiness inside her.

That was when she realised something important. In the process of constantly sacrificing her own needs for others, she had slowly begun to lose herself. 

For a long time, she had been putting everyone else first while ignoring her own exhaustion and stress. She finally understood the real problem. It wasn’t that people kept asking for help. It was that she never allowed herself to say no. Somewhere along the way, kindness had quietly turned into pressure, and helping others had started to cost her own peace of mind. 

Sitting there, listening to the steady rhythm of the waves, Juliana made a small promise to herself. Maybe being a good friend didn't mean saying yes to everything. It also meant learning to protect her own time, energy, and well-being. She needed to respect herself and set her own boundaries.