It's true—we all face difficulties in managing our emotions from time to time. We might cry, yell, pound the table, or stamp our feet. Of course, these reactions are not ideal, and they can have consequences that significantly impact our mental well-being. Some individuals are more sensitive to emotional outbursts, particularly those who lack the necessary emotional skills to regulate their feelings. These individuals tend to fall into two categories: those who suppress their emotions ("sit on emotions") and those who dwell on them repeatedly before lashing out ("sit in emotions").

Suppose Mr. Karim suppresses his emotions—he "sits on emotions" and tries to pretend they don’t exist. He might feel frustrated, undermined, or upset by a colleague or friend, but instead of addressing or even acknowledging these feelings, he ignores them. However, research indicates that constantly suppressing emotions requires significant cognitive energy. Studies show that individuals who suppress emotions tend to struggle with problem-solving, task completion, and interpersonal relationships. In the long run, this coping style often leads to lower well-being. The irony is that people frequently ignore their feelings because they believe they should simply focus on their work, but in reality, this approach hampers their effectiveness.

On the other hand, the second category includes those who are more prone to emotional outbursts—those who ruminate or what we call "sit in emotions." Suppose Mr. Rahim repeatedly replays a situation in his mind, thinking, "I was undermined, I was wronged, I was mistreated." By fixating on his emotions, he finds it increasingly difficult to consider others' perspectives, which raises the likelihood of anger outbursts when someone challenges him.

Although these two emotional styles—suppressing and ruminating—seem different, both deplete cognitive and emotional energy and lead to similar negative outcomes, such as impaired problem-solving, strained interpersonal relationships, and diminished well-being.

To conclude, let's reflect on this famous quote by Aristotle:
"Anyone can become angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not easy."

Aristotle’s words highlight what is now known as "emotional intelligence," a concept that has become a key topic in modern psychology. Developing emotional intelligence can help us manage our emotions effectively in various aspects of life.